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EXPERIENCING CHANGE

Hello You,

How are you doing? I know you must be wondering why I am asking you  how you are faring when i know the situation on ground. I know my dear. I feel your pain too... We seem to be passengers aboard a plane with no captain. I feel that same fear of uncertainty, I see the looks on the faces of my fellow compatriots asking questions that are critically and religiously begging for answers. Answers beyond the horizons. Answers within the UNKNOWN.

I feel this scourge of pain too and it breaks my heart to see my beloved country is such MESS!. I even had to stay back at work because there were no buses heading towards the Ojodu Berger axis. Even the ones I saw, demanded for over 1000% of the ordinary price (shey me no go go buy faragon like this now). I really must say that I am sad. Being sad is even an understatement. 

The 'drought' of Petroleum Motor Spirit (petrol) in our country has begin to make me think; What is our future going to be like? What are our chances as Nigerian youths of  being great here in Naija. Why is this happening few days to the transition into a new government. Is this how we will start our CHANGE?


See ehn, this our blog ehn, is not for negativity and I am not here to moop or lament over this insensitive issues. (because me i know sey fuel dey). WE ARE NIGERIANS!. WE ARE STRONG!. WE ARE RESILIENT!. WE ARE A GREAT PEOPLE!


No need for all the long long se ren ren. All I want us to know is this; WE SHALL OVERCOME!. WE SHALL TRIUMPH!. WE SHALL SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. I KNOW WE SHALL 

BUT...

All lie in our hands still. "Never allow the situation of the now derail you from getting to the destination of your tomorrow". Come what may, I know that the Nigerian youths are strong and brave to SHINE irrespective of the darkness being brought in by some selfish, corrupt minds. Dont mind them, they cant stop us because we are NIGERIANS! and we are STRONG!

GOD BLESS US ALL. GOD BLESS THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA!!

BC.

STOP ! THINK! ASK YOURSELF...

ARE YOU TIRED OF WAITING??

Its  been almost a week now since i last wrote something on here. I completely apologise for my laziness. (E nor easy to write mhen).  

That being said, I just thought i share with you one special topic that I feel we already have an idea of but we tend to neglect, thanks to one damsel who even suggested i write about it because according to her, If no one draws the consciousness of the Nigerian youth to it, we might lose our morale not just as individuals but as a nation.


I will want to point out that this blog is not just to drive traffic, rather to point out to you the inner strength in you that can make you a better STAR that you are. back to the 'matter' I would want us to look at the word PATIENCE . stale right? I know but anyways, we go still yarn. The saying; a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step cannot be over emphasized, we hear it at home, schools, churches, mosques, seminars, etc. But the honest truth is, most of us, especially young people want to finish the thousand miles journey with a thousand steps.


According to Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton, he said; 'Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” One do not seem to achieve the hight of success without passing through constant trials and travails. And during such 'storms' the only way to see the light of the tunnel is if we keep pressing on.



I grew up in an enviroment where getting rich by all means was the order of the day. Ladies dont want to know how youmake the money as long as you have the dough to lavish around. Being in the midst of my peers made me feel bad. I wanted to belong to the 'money boyz' I wanted to be flashy. In my little corner i decided i was going to make money at all cost not considering the consequences. But thank God that a few friends who noticed my desperation told me to be patient that my time will come. 



I am quite sure  i am not the only one who has been or who is in this situation. You may feel or think that your patience is running out, giving the cliche we say this days 'there is no time'. It is true that there really is no time but have you sat down to think about the consequences behind whatever it is you want to do to actually actualize your 'dreams'? The words 'had i known' is far worse than hanging in there a little longer.


If not for anything, take a cue from the president-elect of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Muhammadu Buhari who after several attempts in trying to be president finally got the mandate and come May 29, 2015 will be sworn in as Nigeria's president. It takes only a patient man to try again. No one says waiting a little longer is fun, but trust me, it will be worth it, IF and only IF your patience is accompanied with consistency and doggedness.




Patience is listed by Paul in Galatians 5:22-23 as among the fruit of the Spirit. Even the Qu'aran in Al’Imran 3:200 has something beautiful to say about the reward for  patience.


Never give up, keep striving and be patient. There will be temptations lurking around to tempt your conscience, but pleae dont give in.  Trust me, the reward in the end is always worth it !


BC

THE POWER OF BEING GRATEFUL

As I woke up   this morning, the first thing i did was to say a word of prayer to. The first words that came out  of my mouth were ' Thank you Lord for waking me up this fine morning'... How often do you get off your bed and be thankful to be alive, healthy and sound? How often do you say the words; 'thank you'

According to Inc.com, there are six surprising ways of being grateful that will make you end up being a happier person but i am going to share with you just three of them which i feel will be very essential. Not that the rest three are not, but living by these three salient points will actually make you a more grateful and happier person;

1.  You'll be in a better mood.

Focusing on your reasons for gratitude means focusing on the things that make you happy  . And as I'm trying hard to learn, being happy about the good things in your life won't cause the Evil Eye to come after you. It will just give you a more        optimistic outlook, which will in turn make you feel happier and more grateful. It's a self-reinforcing cycle, and that's a good thing.

2.    You'll be better off if the Law of         Attraction    is real.

Some people are big believers in the Law of Attraction (a.k.a. The Secret), which says that which you focus on will come to you. That is, if you're always thinking about debt, you'll have more debt. If you're always thinking about wealth, you'll have more wealth.

I'm not sure I subscribe to this view. In particular, it seems to me that the people with the most debt are those who never think about it all. But I do believe that where we focus our attention, we are likelier to make things happen, and so if nothing else, the Law of Attraction has homed in on a profound part of human nature. Will thinking about what we're grateful for tend to bring us more of whatever that is? It seems highly possible to me that it will.

3.     You'll live longer.

Three years ago, research confirmed what most of us have already observed: Happier people live longer, healthier lives. In a surprising study, researchers divided older people into happy, unhappy, and in-between categories and then tracked them over five years. More of the unhappy group died than either of the other two, and once researchers had controlled for age, chronic illness, depression, and healthy or unhealthy behaviours (such as getting regular exercise), they found that happy people were 35 percent less likely to die than unhappy ones. Practicing gratitude will not only make your life more enjoyable, it could actually give you more life.

It seems worth doing, doesn't it?

Being grateful in all should not just be a habit, its should be a way of life as it attracts the goodness of life. If not for anything, be grateful for life because when there is life, there is hope. Cheers!

BC.

LEARNING TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

ITS HIGH TIME YOU FORGAVE YOURSELF

Have you ever thought of making some hideous mistakes in the past later to end up saying 'had I known' ? Have you ever wished you took a particular step at one crucial point in your life? We all have. Everyone has that one thing about their past they could never bring themselves to tell anyone. Or, if they have, maybe one or two people ever.

It’s that one thing you don’t know if you could ever forgive yourself for. It shames you.

Just thinking about that mistake either words or actions will make you never want to forgive yourself then you seek an escape route in a different task or a sudden urgent thought. Something else to distract you.

But hey!, you don't need to beat yourself up, there are 7 billion people in this world and mistakes are only human. they abound for us to learn and make us better persons. However, here are a few points i would want you to consider on how to deal with any form of self guilt:

Emancipation From Guilt

Often we feel guilty for things we don’t necessarily feel bad for. Usually it’s one of those beliefs you've just picked up from the world around you, but you don’t understand it.

This is not what we’re talking about today (although that’s an important topic on A Life on Your Terms and you can read more about it here). Today, we’re talking about actions you've decided you definitely deserve to feel guilty about.

The easy thing to do is to berate and torture yourself for the rest of your life because you feel like you deserve it. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Either way, that’s the easy thing to do.

Suffering is easy. It’s all over the place. Every time I turn a corner, I run smack dab right in the middle of some suffering.

Achieving and sustaining happiness and peace is much harder.

The answer is not to condemn yourself to a life of self-inflicted pain. The answer is to emancipate yourself from guilt.

Emancipation Step 1: Acknowledge Your Actions Without Excuses

If you thought I was going to tell you it’s okay that you did what you did, you’re sadly, woefully, hugely mistaken. Emancipation has nothing to do skirting responsibility.

You need to acknowledge that you did what you did, whatever it might be. You did it. Not some impostor or evil twin.  Stop ignoring it or denying your participation in your actions.

For me, this means saying that I had sex with more boys from the age of 12-14 years old than I can count or than I could even remember. I violated a sacred value  and I annihilated my own integrity by my own actions.

Emancipation Step 2: Acknowledge Your Actions To Those You've Hurt

In this case, I didn't really harm anyone other than myself, so I’ll have to give you another example.

When I was fifteen, I some kind of demon awakened inside of me, and I became the worst, most disrespectful child ever to live. There’s no room to get into the why of this particular horror, but just know I've gone through this process for the terrible actions I committed during this time.

Make Up For Your Actions

For my actions, I needed to make it up to myself. I needed to gain back my own integrity, and I did that by reclaiming my virginity (mentally) and promising to fiercely protect it for the rest of my life.

I've done a pretty good JOB of that.

For you, it might be returning that money you stole, minimizing the damage done by a lie, paying for the car you crashed, etc. Do what you can to make amends. This is your responsibility, so don’t expect gratitude (although most people are so good that they’ll give it to you).

Emancipation Step 4: Choose Learning & Growth Over Self-Condemnation & Contempt

This step takes place throughout every other step and continues until you’ve forgiven yourself for your actions.

You need to learn and grow from what you did or you’ll just do it all over again. Guilt is toxic to your self-esteem, and happiness is hard to come by if you feel shitty about yourself.

Similarly, easy as it maybe to hold yourself in contempt and condemn yourself, it’s not conducive to peace and happiness which is what you deserve.

In the case of guilt and regret, to grow, we must seek to understand our actions so we can make a commitment to do it differently the next time.

Understand why you did what you did.

It’s important to remember that we, as humans who want to live, are always acting out of our self-interests. What we choose to do may be objectively wrong, but, subjectively, we’re only trying to take care of ourselves. 

This is vitally important to understand and is the crux to understanding our actions and developing compassion for ourselves.

Ask yourself in what ways you were trying to look after yourself when you did whatever it is you regret. There is always an answer to this question (unless what you did was a complete and total accident).

Maybe you were taking actions to avoid pain, discomfort, or some other kind of hurt?

Again, how were you trying to take care of yourself? In what way can you do it differently next time?

Moving Forward

I know it feels impossible right now, but you can move forward and past whatever it is you feel like you can’t forgive yourself for.

I also know you may not want to move forward.

You may feel what you've done is so terrible that moving forward would be too good for you. Maybe you want to punish yourself. Unless you've done something unspeakable like raped or murdered someone, you’re taking the easy way out.

You’re also taking the path that propagates the kind of behavior you’re punishing yourself for in the first place. Less integrity leads to acting with less integrity which is followed by a further diminished integrity and self esteem.

So if you really want to make up for it you have to learn from it and resolve to stopping the behavior for good. That takes time, understanding, compassion  and forgiveness.

If you think you’re a wretch, and treat yourself like one, you’ll act like a wretch.

If you think you’re a good person who made a mistake, you’ll act like a good person who made a mistake; which is, in fact, what you are.

BC.

YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY

For those of you who want to give up and who feel you are not getting the necessary results for the much effort you put in day in day out, week in week out, here is my advise for you; Never see your present state as your final destination, rather see your present state as a pathway to your final destination. 

It wont be easy. That is the bitter truth, but with perseverance, commitment and most importantly, believing in yourself, you will realize that consciously or unconsciously, the desired and required CHANGE will come.




 You are more than what you think you are. You are special. You are extraordinary. Never let anyone or any circumstance(s) make you see yourself less. Prove to the world that you are a STAR, but before you do that, start living and acting like a star you already are.

FEED YOUR MIND WITH THESE WORDS;

Those who achieved success do not stop. They never become complacent, they keep learning and looking for the new knowledge. Never think you have made it, there is always more to learn and do."

"Most people fail because they do not have determination and perseverance. Extraordinary people are determined and persevere that is what makes them extraordinary."

Catherine Pulsifer

 

BC.